Dating a sex addict woman
Hi Autumn, My experience with slaa is that disclosure comes at a certain point when getting to know someone. Admitting to this kind of addiction is very different from substance addictions.Alcoholics often readily admit they're alcoholics - with great pride even, but it's a different thing for this program. I would not tell a potential partner that I'm in slaa until their trust has been *earned*.When to reveal is something that the addict and their sponsor would discuss. Not everyone will understand, or some people may abuse the person's addiction.(You might remember the silly scenario on Desperate Housewives...well, it happens.) Anyway, I believe in full disclosure..the timing is subjective.Regardless of the particular brand of sex addiction, this stage of reentry into the dating pool is critical for every sex addict.It cannot be rushed, underestimated or faced alone anymore than the early emergency stages of recovery could be when the addict was hitting bottom.
The realm of healthy dating may seem strange for other reasons as well.This time around, however, the addict has a true shot at real joy – if he or she can trust the process.Read more about healthy dating for sex addicts in my book "Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex in Recovery from Sex Addiction" and my daily meditation book "Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence" Sex addicts use behaviors rather than substances as coping mechanisms.In fact, the author would recommend the addict to stay away from further encounters so there could be no more "potential victims" until the problem is solved.If the addict is out there doing things with more victims, he/she is not under control and is not listening to the advice of anybody in the help groups anyway.
After all, addiction tends to arrest people emotionally, and in recovery they often surface at the point from which they left off, feeling, for instance, like a 20-year old trapped in a 35-year old’s body.