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In a study of over 30,000 Americans, published in the journal of Social Psychological and Personality Science, researchers examined the relationship between how often couples reported having sex and whether that related to their reported level of happiness.
The researchers concluded that couples who were having sex once a week were the happiest, while couples who reported having sex two, three, or more times a week were no happier than those having sex once a week.
That is, if we are fighting or falling out of love with our partner, not having sex could be a symptom of a much larger problem.
However, if we are simply busy, sick, navigating parenthood, or identify as asexual (and the list goes on), then it may be more circumstantial and nothing to panic over. & Impett, E., Sexual Frequency Predicts Greater Well-Being, But More is Not Always Better, Social Psychology and Personality Science, 7, 4, 295-302.
” It’s a question that comes up often, albeit tentatively, exposing some of our deepest insecurities about our intimate relationships.
Few of us haven’t wondered at some point: How much sex should we be having? Is our relationship doomed if we aren’t having enough sex? These questions are inherently flawed, because how often we are having sex doesn't address whether or not that sex is good, bad, or dissatisfying.
Nevertheless, the frequency with which we are sexually intimate can play a role in both our sexual and relationship satisfaction. And what does that mean for our relationship quality and satisfaction?
And, how much sex should you be having in the beginning?
Numerous dating experts will advise people to hold off on the sex until they’re in a fully committed relationship—if that’s what they’re looking for.
Some women fear that having sex too soon can jeopardize any chances of having a relationship.
But the truth of the matter is, if someone truly likes you, they’ll stick around whether you have sex one date in, one month in, or one year in.
Regardless of when you have sex, it's pretty much a given fact that when two people who find each other attractive start getting together, sex is probably going to happen at one point.
Everyone is different — and so is every type of relationship.