Sex dating and relationships a fresh approach
And this doesn’t mean only abstinence from sexual intercourse, but abstinence from all sexual activity. The problem with viewing a dating relationship as its own distinct category of relationship is that—being a modern invention—it lacks any explicit scriptural boundary regarding sexual relations.
Feeling left to our own devices, we have invented our own guidelines of sexual purity. Some are fairly conservative, while others are not.
Pastors and parents have, I think, dropped the ball here.
We’ve tended to push the burden of this dilemma back onto teens and singles.
In the context of these admonitions, sexual love does not desire to be awakened when it has no opportunity for consummation.
Since sexual activity must still be reserved for marriage, it is incumbent that an engaged couple exercise wisdom regarding the extent to which they “fan into flame” sexual desire through physical touch, spending time alone, discussing sexual intimacy, etc.
But since that would require an entire chapter’s worth, let me briefly state the argument and then hope people will go to the book for the details.In either case, the legitimization of dating relationships as a distinct category of male-female relationship has introduced an enormous amount of subjectivity into Christian pre-marital relationships.A main problem with contemporary dating relationships is that they tend to grant license to sexual activity that we would otherwise intuitively deem inappropriate. In our book, we argue that a dating relationship is really just a subset of the neighbor relationship, and thus must be governed by its sexual guidelines.When you peel away the veneer, the commitment of a dating relationships is pretty shallow. In the book you suggest that pre-marital relationships should only become romantic at engagement. We are not suggesting that an engaged couple repress their sexual and romantic feelings for each other, or pretend that they are not sexually attracted to each other.Yet we treat these relationships as though they were a quasi-marriage, and thus grant them a measure of security that isn’t really there. You write, “To romantically woo a woman, or to give your heart away to a man, prior to a marriage commitment is to paint an unclear portrait of Christ and the church. It is never wrong to anticipate a good gift from God.
139), what tensions will Christians experience who asking: How far is too far before marriage?