When to have sex when dating mature adult dating
"It becomes much more difficult to objectively see each other's character traits" says Susanne Alexander, a relationship coach and author of Can We Dance? "Some couples then slide into engagement and marriage only to discover they have missed seeing major aspects of each other." While not every dating scenario that involves sex leads to marriage or even a serious relationship, couples do owe it to themselves to talk about where they see their relationship going and how sex might change the relationship -- before they get in bed together. The woman may assume sex implies a commitment; the man may not see it that way," Allen tells Web MD.Having an honest conversation with yourself about sex is just as important as discussing it with your partner, experts say.The goal is to give you a chance to evaluate the other person before hopping into bed.Plus, you don’t want to give the other person the impression that you’re over-eager, but you also don’t want to wait too long to start having sex in case it turns out you’re incompatible.She also says the conversation, like the primping, should happen at the same time -- before that big date."Think about your sexual boundaries before you've had that first drink," Mc Clary advises.Concern about STDs and unwanted pregnancies can help create sexual boundaries, believes Mc Clary.
By and large, Allen and other relationship experts endorse a cautious approach to the dating rules of sex.
"My advice is this: wait as long as you can," Allen says.
Her rationale for these dating rules may seem obvious, but many people tend to forget in the heat of the moment.
"Every woman and man should know their boundaries before they start dating, and most of us don't," says Cheryl Mc Clary, Ph D, JD, professor of women's health at University of North Carolina-Asheville.
When Mc Clary refers to boundaries, she's not talking just about the physical boundaries that come with sexual territory. "Emotional wholeness is crucial to the decision process of whether or not to have sex," Mc Clary tells Web MD.
"Make sure your brain, heart, and penis are in conjunction -- they should all be in a straight line before you have sex," she says.